


#270 - The WouldBe Army Of Furbies

by WyckedStarr



Series: Recommendations for Optimum Recruit Survival [3]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Furbies, M/M, Pre-Slash, SHIELD Recruit Survival Tips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WyckedStarr/pseuds/WyckedStarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip #270 - Stop mentioning Furbies to Captain Rogers. It was bad enough that some idiot actually gave him one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#270 - The WouldBe Army Of Furbies

**Author's Note:**

> Furbies are really creepy  
> Beta-ed by SecretDime, found on Fanfiction.net [here](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3309887/)  
> SHIELD Recruit Survival Tip #270 found [here](http://shieldrecruitsurvivaltips.tumblr.com/post/27224928352/s-h-i-e-l-d-recruit-survival-tip-270-stop)

There were many things about the future that confused Steve Rogers, including why in 70 years no one had managed to perfect flying cars. That said, the idea of a robot that was supposed to look like an owl and made pointless noises baffled him. He stared at the thing Tony had called a Furby before shoving it into his hands. Holding it as far away from him as he could manage, he studied it carefully. It was furry and weirdly multi-coloured, it stared back at him with large unblinking eyes. It didn’t seem like one of Tony’s robots, he mused, seemingly having no function and no intelligence. Artistically thinking though, the big eyes and floppy ears would make it kind of cute.

Settling down on the couch, Steve placed the Furby beside him; it’s babbling a comforting noise in the strangely silent tower. He sketched for a while, starting out with the faces of the people he knew from his past before moving on to his new team. He outlined Tony’s achingly familiar smirk, Bruce’s steady calm, the flow of Natasha’s hair and the way Clint’s eyes focused when he was aiming. He was trying to capture what it was in Thor’s face that wasn’t quite from Earth when he felt something nudge against him.

The Furby stared at him and as he looked down into the toy’s eyes, he could have sworn that, just for a second, a glint of malice shone in those lifeless plastic orbs. Shaking the feeling off, he got up, leaving the Furby on the couch. It wasn’t likely to come to harm there. He ignored the slight twinge of guilt that leaving it behind gave him.

 

***

The super soldier pummelled on of the heavy duty, re-enforced punching bags Stark had made for him and installed in the tower gym and the SHIELD gym. He enjoyed the fact that he couldn’t destroy those things; he could just keep pounding until his arms gave out.

A quiet creak caught Steve’s attention and he paused, one hand outstretched to halt the swing of the bag. Turning slowly, he tried to guess who it was that had just entered the gym. Clint almost always entered from the roof. Neither Tony nor Thor could ever be that quiet and he never heard Natasha or Coulson enter at all, even if he was listening out for them. Bruce rarely ever came down to the gym at all, so that ruled him out. However, when he had fully turned, there was no one there. A slight burble near his feet made him look down to see the Furby he had left in the other room staring at him. Carefully picking up the furry robot, he made his way out of the gym and down to Tony’s workshop.

Through the clear door, he saw the dark-haired man bowed over whatever project he was working on today. He was so at home down here, more so than anywhere else. Steve didn’t really want to interrupt him but he needed to ask whether this thing was behaving as per usual.

“JARVIS?” He called politely, never really knowing where to look when addressing the AI.

“Yes Captain Rogers? How may I be of assistance?”

Steve tried to act like JARVIS’ cool voice didn’t startle him. Glancing down at the robotic creature in his hands he felt somewhat justified for feeling so jumpy. He cleared his throat gently. “Could you let Tony know that I’m out here?”

“Of course.”

Steve couldn’t hear what JARVIS said, but he watched as Tony paused, straightened and turned to face him through the glass. A strange look crossed his face before he moved the workshop and opened the door.

“You know Cap, you do have your own code, you don’t need to get JARVIS to buzz you in.” There was a large smear of grease across Tony’s face. Steve couldn’t look away from it. “Well, come in.”

Stepping into the lab, Steve froze as Dummy came running up to tug on his shirt. Not wanting to risk hurting him, Steve stood still, allowing the robot to investigate as he wished. Satisfied by whatever he had found, Dummy rushed off to race around the workshop, pausing occasionally to knock against You and Butterfingers.

“So what’s up, Capsicle?” Stark asked, leaning causally up against his work bench.

It was a testament to how used to Tony Steve had become that he didn’t wince at the nickname as he used to. “What is this thing?” Steve inquired, holding the Furby out to him.

“It’s a child’s toy, primitive robotics, synthetic fur and a voice box,” Tony answered shortly, without even glancing at the furry robot.

“Is it meant to be able to move around?” Steve put the creature on the bench and followed Tony as he moved around the workshop.

Tony snickered. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it doesn’t exactly have functional feet.” He spun around to face him. “It’s a toy, for children, Rogers, it can’t plot, it can’t think and it cannot walk, no matter what the internet says.”

“Sir, the fabrication unit has been brought on-line.” JARVIS’ refined voice seemed to hold an edge of concern.

“I didn’t authorise that. JARVIS, shut it down.” Stark replied tersely.

“I can’t sir, something is overriding my control.”

As one, they turned to see the Furby staring at them, its eyes glinting maliciously. It opened its beak and let out a shriek of pure evil.

“Fuck! They are demonic! Quick, destroy it before it creates an army!” Tony cried.

Lunging at the creature, Steve saw it prepare to move and altered his course to match it. Hands outstretched, he caught the fluffy creature in both hands. “Now what?” Steve asked, glancing down at the demonic creature uncertainly. It really was rather cute.

“Crush it, destroy it, just do something! Before it starts mass producing an army of the damn things!” Stark shouted, startling Steve out of his hesitation.

Steve tightened his grip on the creature, hearing delicate mechanisms crush under his grip. The pointed plastic of the creature’s fake beak bit deep into his hands and reflexively, he let it go, staring in shock at his bleeding hand. How the hell did the thing have the strength to bite him hard enough to draw blood?

“Why the fuck did you let it go?”

“It bit me!”

“Seriously?” Tony looked offensively incredulous. “You’re a super soldier! You’ve faced down Nazis and aliens but you can’t defeat a small robotic toy without AI or weaponry?”

Deeply affronted, Steve shouted back defensively. “You said it yourself! It’s evil!”

“Ow!” Tony stared down at the Furby that had bitten through his shoe into his foot. “Okay, it really is evil. Dummy, You, Butterfingers, destroy it!”

The three intelligent robots, Stark’s helping hands, raced across the workshop floor in pursuit of the creature. In a way, it was almost comical to watch.

Tony dived to the ground, fingertips just brushing against its fur. He landed hard, rolling with the impact and crashing into Steve’s legs, sending him tumbling to the ground. Tangled together in a jumble of limes, they struggled to get free.

There was a screech of wheels and the two entangled heroes saw Dummy grab the creature as it approached them, holding its struggling form as high as he possibly could. Reaching out with one hand, Steve took the Furby and smashed it into the ground repeatedly. Fake fur and circuitry scattered all over the room. The creature screamed, heart-stopping and terrifying in its fur, as he destroyed it, a sound that chilled him to his very core. When it stopped screaming, he stopped smashing.

“A smash Hulk would be proud of,” Tony quipped shakily.

Still tangled on the floor, thoroughly coated in fur, clothes torn from the battle, the two heroes flinched as the door slid open. “Hey Tony, I need you to…” Bruce’s voice trailed away as he took in the sight of the two men on the floor. “Well…you seem busy. I’ll come back later, shall I?” With that, he left, closing the door behind him.

Tony and Steve slowly managed to untangle themselves in silence. They stared down at the destroyed Furby before sharing a look. “Let’s never speak of this again.”

“Agreed.”

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously creepy, people. I used to have a Furby, that talked even without the batteries. As we threw it into the rubbish, it was still talking. I think it's hiding at the tip, biding it's time, waiting for the perfect moment to rise up and conquer the world in an army of Furbies.


End file.
